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Sara

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Dreams [Mar. 10th, 2008|01:20 am]
Sara
I've been dreaming about my dad a lot lately. I wish I knew why. Somedays, I don't think much about it, other days, everything reminds me. My Mom visited me this weekend, and it was really good to see her, but I think maybe it triggered a realization that she is the only parent I have left. I know plenty of people lose their parents, many earlier in life, so it should be easier to deal with now that I am an adult. Someone told me though, that it is hard to lose a parent, at any age. Even though it is one of the inevitabilities of life. I told one of my housemates the other night that I am terrified of forgetting what his voice sounds like. I know that seems like a silly worry, but that is important to me. Today, watching The Phantom of the Opera, the song "Wishing you were somehow here again" just hit me, and I started crying. I felt bad, because i was watching with Jon, but he was really sweet about it. I'm sure it isn't much fun when your girlfriend just sporadically bursts into tears in your arms. He's been pretty sweet about everything. I'm a pretty lucky girl to have him. And it's silly, but I am pretty sure my Dad would have liked him. They have some similarities. The biggest one that stands out is cooking. My dad really enjoyed experimenting with things in the kitchen. He was a really good cook, and while it is silly, it upsets me that I'll never eat his food again, even if I didn't do so very often.


So, writing this entry is making my cry, so I'm going to stop. Sorry.

Sara
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: cashewdani
2008-03-10 02:23 pm (UTC)
I would agree with whoever said it's hard to lose a parent at any age. And like I said in my other comment, it's totally alright to be sad, and to miss your Dad and to have these reactions to things. Don't feel bad about it, seriously. People love you, and they want you to be a human being, not a robot and also not someone who's suppressing.

::HUGS::
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[User Picture]From: team_jessie
2008-03-11 12:40 am (UTC)
I can't imagine losing a parent. Go ahead and be sad all you need to.
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[User Picture]From: alate
2008-03-11 09:04 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I keep thinking about you and how I don't know how I'd deal with losing one of my parents right now. It's true, it IS difficult at any age - being an adult doesn't matter, doesn't make it less sad. So like the commenter above me said - be sad all you need to.
I was going to type something about getting together but it didn't seem appropriate so I will reserve that for e-mail or calling you.
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